Moony Forever
by believeindreamers
Summary: My first try at HP fic, please read and review ya'll, and be on the lookout for a sequel.
1. Default Chapter Title

This is my first try at HP fic, so don't be harsh. Just so ya know, Padfoot is Sirius, Moony is Remus, James was Prongs, and Peter is Wormtail. Read and review, or you won't get the sequel. It's lots better, I swear. By the way, this was written pre GoF. Deal with it.  
  
I was in my library, reading as usual, when an owl flew in the open window and settled on the desk in front of me. If you're not confused yet by the appearance of an owl on my desk, it's a miracle, so I suppose this is a as good a time as any to explain.  
  
My name is Remus Lupin, former professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I am also a werewolf. But there were a few, four to be exact, to whom this didn't matter. In our school years, Sirius, James, Peter, and I were probably the cause (all right, there's no probably about it) of at least three-fourths of the trouble in Hogwarts. We were almost never caught in the act, though, we were that good. Oh, we did our share of detention, but we deserved a lot more time than we got. Yes, Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, and Moony were quite notorious in those days, and after Lily joined us we became even more daring, but all good things come to an end.  
  
James and Lily are now dead, totally, irreversibly dead, leaving behind a son, Harry. Sirius is on the run, convicted of a murder he did not commit. Wormtail, the true reason for the death of two of my best friends, is also on the run, probably hoping to go back to his master, the Lord Voldemort. And I? Well, I suppose you'll just have to wait and decide that for yourself.  
  
I'm not usually a person you want to track down, and so I was surprised by the sudden appearance of a snowy owl on my desk. I sat up and laid the book down on the desk in front of me as I wondered where I had seen that owl before. After a few minutes, I realized the owl, whose name happened to be Hedwig if I remembered correctly, belonged to Harry. She appeared quite agitated, pacing along the length of the desk, occasionally giving me dirty looks as she walked by. Frowning, I wondered why Harry had sent her. She wasn't carrying a note, and I was getting more and worried about her master.  
  
"Hedwig, I wish I knew why you're here," I wondered out loud. As if in answer, Hedwig flew off the desk and out the window again, then, when I didn't move, she flew back inside and started flying around my head.  
  
"Okay, okay, I get the message," I complained, as I grabbed up my wand from a table in the opposite corner of the room. I apparated outside and waited for the owl. She flew past me, and I knew that she was headed for Harry's house. I raced back into the house and snatched a piece of paper off my desk. I carefully studied the photograph of Number 4 Privet Drive Sirius had sent me by owl. He'd been concerned about Harry's safety with his uncle's family, and had wanted me to know what the place looked like, just in case. Much as I hated to admit it, he'd been right to be worried. Concentrating on the mental picture of Harry's house, I mumbled the now-familiar spell.   
  
In a moment, I was standing outside the house, and I walked around to the back, searching for a way in. I found it_a back window that had been left unlocked. Feeling incredibly foolish, I climbed inside, and then tried to decide the best course of action. That's when I heard somebody talking. It sounded like they were talking to theirself.  
  
"Drat those Dursleys, they must have gotten a proper lock this time. I can't get this one off!"  
  
Curious, I strode forward to a small cupboard under the stairs. I tapped the lock with my wand, and it fell open in my hand. I pulled the door open and watched as Harry climbed out, muttering about all the unpleasant things he was going to do to the Dursleys when he graduated.   
  
"Harry?!" He turned toward me, grinning.  
  
"Hi, Professor Lupin. I guess Hedwig got you here?"  
  
"Yeah. Why on earth did they stick you in the cupboard?!" He scowled.  
  
"I insulted Dudley one too many times. Actually, I threatened to turn him into a toad, and, even though I can't do that yet_I'll get arrested if I try; he still told on me, and presto, cupboard for me." Our conversation was interrupted, rather rudely, by a large man, that instantly started yelling at us.  
  
"HARRY, HOW DARE YOU LET PEOPLE LIKE_LIKE YOU INTO THIS HOUSE!!"  
  
That did it. I, as a general rule, try not to judge people without getting to know them first. But I decided right then and there that I most certainly didn't like Harry's uncle much at all, nor did I ever want to get to know the man.  
  
"First of all, Harry did not let me in, you left your back window unlocked, and secondly, I came because I'm concerned about how you're treating him," I said coldly.  
  
"You're concerned, huh? Well, I really don't care." Then, to Harry, "If you know what's good for you, you'll get back in that cupboard now."  
  
"He'll do nothing of the kind. And I swear, you say one more word and I'll turn you into a toad."  
  
"You have no right to threaten_" That was as far as he got. True to my word, I whipped out my wand and called out a spell I hadn't used since I'd turned Severus Snape into a frog years ago. Instead of the huge man that had been standing there a moment before, a small frog was sitting there, looking reproachfully up at us.  
  
"Oh, dear, Harry, you'll have to forgive me. I didn't turn him into a toad, I turned him into a frog." Harry promptly dissolved into giggles, and after a minute I started laughing, too. When Harry finally stopped laughing, he gazed at me with admiration.  
  
"Geez, Professor Lupin, I didn't think you had such a temper. I figured Sirius might do something like that, but I didn't think you would."  
  
"Well, I just couldn't help myself. I did warn him. And Harry, I'm not your teacher anymore, so the title isn't necessary. Just call me Remus, or Moony if you prefer."  
  
"Okay, will do. So what now, Remus?"  
  
"I'm about as clueless as you are. Since these people aren't quite Muggles, it'll be all right that I turned your uncle, is it? into a frog."  
  
"Yeah, that's my Uncle Vernon. Should we ask Professor Dumbledore?"  
  
"Yes," I agreed. "He'll most certainly know what we should do, since I believe it's going to take a while for your uncle to simmer down." Still grinning, I scooped the frog up and wagged a finger in its face. "You deserved that, Vernon, and I'll do again, I warn you."  
  
I put him down on the ground, and stepped back. Turning to Harry, I said calmly, "Can we go?"  
  
"Shouldn't we put him back the way he was?" he asked nervously.  
  
"Don't worry about it. The spell's only temporary; it should wear off in about twenty-four hours."  
  
"Okay," he agreed, grinning wickedly at his uncle. "Hear that, Uncle Vernon? A whole day as a frog. Make sure and tell me what it's like, okay?"  
  
"Hey, aren't you enjoying this a bit much?"  
  
"'Course I am, I've been wanting to do that for like, forever."  
  
"Okay, but I warn you, you can't go and turn him into a frog every time you get mad."  
  
"No, I can't, but you can," he said, smiling innocently. I rolled my eyes. "No, seriously, I mean, a few more days as a frog should teach him something."  
  
"Just like James," I murmured, more to myself than Harry. For a second I just stood there, remembering our last full moon together. Padfoot and I were play-fighting, while James just stood there, laughing the way animals do, with their eyes. I was snapped out of my reverie by Harry.  
  
"How are you planning on getting there? You can apparate, but I can't."  
  
"I've had enough practice at apparating to take you with me."  
  
"Then let's go, before Aunt Petunia wakes up and busts our eardrums when she realizes that you turned her husband into a frog."  
  
"Will do." I waved my wand and muttered the familiar words. I found myself in the Forbidden Forest, and, grumbling at the fact that you can't apparate straight to Hogwarts, I led Harry up the stairs to Dumbledore's office.  
  
"Hope he hasn't changed the password," I said worriedly. "Voldemort," I said the gargoyle in front of us, and it hopped to one side as the wall split open behind it.  
  
"Picked a nice password, didn't he?" Harry observed as we started down the passage.  
  
"Yes, he did. You see, most children would be afraid to use the password even if they knew it, and even Severus hates that password." I knocked on the door to Dumbledore's office, and then turned the knob at his 'come on in'.  
  
The first thing I saw as Harry and I entered the room was Dumbledore, sitting behind his desk. Then I saw Snape.  
  
"Speak of the devil," I growled. Snape gave the kind of special sneer he seems to reserve just for me.  
  
"Talking about me, were you, Remus?" he asked.   
  
"Would serve you right if I did," I answered coldly.  
  
"Shall we get down to the business at hand?" Dumbledore asked, obviously trying to avert a possible fight.  
  
"Certainly, Headmaster," Snape said, glaring at me.  
  
"I already know about the situation with Harry, and I don't blame you for losing your temper, Remus. I probably would have turned him into a frog myself." It may surprise you that I didn't wonder how Dumbledore knew. But I didn't. He just knew.   
  
"But the question is; what do we do with him for the next three weeks before school?"  
  
"I'll take him," Snape said instantly. Albus and I exchanged startled looks, then glanced over at Harry, who looked absolutely terrified at the very thought.  
  
"You might as well feed the boy to the wolves!" I exclaimed. "It'll have the same effect!"  
  
"Now, now, don't be hasty, Remus," Dumbledore said thoughtfully.  
  
"Oh, come on now, giving him to Severus is about as stupid as giving him to me." I hadn't been serious about Harry staying with me, but he gazed at me hopefully, and I actually started considering that as an option. So did Dumbledore.  
  
"Do you think you could take care of him then, Lupin?" he asked. I nodded.  
  
"Certainly. And he doesn't really need much taking care of anyway. He's growing up, Albus."  
  
"You're not considering giving him to the werewolf?" Snape yelped. Dumbledore gave him a cool, level look.  
  
"Of course I am. Actually, I think being with Remus would do Harry good."  
  
"Sure, if you want him in pieces!" Snape turned to Harry. "There's a full moon in a week, Potter. If you don't want to wind up in about a million pieces after Lupin gets ahold of you, I would suggest you staying with me."  
  
"Well, if you're so concerned about me winding up in a million pieces, you could make him the Wolfsbane Potion, couldn't you?" Harry said boldly. Snape scowled at him, but Albus interceded.  
  
"Yes, Severus, you most certainly could. That's a very good idea, Harry. Thank you for bringing that up. Severus, would you?"  
  
"Yes, Headmaster," Snape grumbled. He rose from his chair and stalked out of the room, and I couldn't suppress a smile. Some of my Hogwarts students had given me the opinion that Snape looked like an overgrown bat swooping down on some unfortunate person that'd happened to make him mad, and now I understood what they meant.  
  
"It's not going to be any trouble, is it?" Dumbledore requested.   
  
"Nah. I'd like to have him around. And besides, I live out in the country, in Sirius's old house, so he could do all the broom riding he wants."  
  
"Yes!" Harry said, then went dancing around the room.  
  
"Calm down," I said sternly, trying to keep a straight face. Obediently Harry sat down in Snape's chair and grinned at us from there.  
  
"Go on, Harry, I need to talk to Remus for a bit," Albus told him, and he laughed at Harry's horrorstruck expression. "Tell Severus that I told you to go out there, and he shouldn't bother you." Reassured, Harry left the room, back into the main corridor outside. When he was gone, Albus turned to me with a very serious expression.  
  
"Remus, are you sure you could handle this?"  
  
"I'm not sure what you mean," I said, but that was a complete lie. I knew all right, but I didn't want to be the one to say it.  
  
"I think you do. I'm not the only one that thinks he looks just like his father, and I want to make sure you can handle it. You were very close to James, and I'm worried about the kind of memories he'll bring back."  
  
"That's another reason he should stay. I have to get over this."  
  
"It's not easy to do that. But if you're sure..."  
  
"I am," I insisted.  
  
"All right then. I'll see him in three weeks."  
  
* * * *  
  
"Harry, come down here," I yelled. Harry circled down, and carefully landed his broom in front of me.   
  
It had been a week since had come to stay with me, and, surprisingly enough, it had worked rather well. He had been practicing on his Firebolt every day, rain or shine, and he was getting better and better. Not that he needed much improvement anyway. Dumbledore had been over once, and had apparently been satisfied by what he'd seen. Harry, too, seemed quite pleased by the arrangement, and I was comforted by the thought that I, in Sirius's absence, was doing the best I could to respect James' wishes concerning his son. Today was the full moon, however, and I was doing my best to warn Harry.  
  
"I know you're not fond of rules: your father was the exact same way, but you have to understand that even though Snape made me the potion, it may not be effective. I don't trust Severus much at all, and I don't kid myself that he wouldn't put you in danger so he could get even with me."  
  
"In short, you trust him about as much as I do," Harry interrupted. I nodded.  
  
"Exactly. So that is why I want you to lock yourself in your bedroom when I transform. If the potion worked, I'll be totally safe and you can come out, but until you're sure it worked, don't open the door. It should be pretty obvious after a few minutes."  
  
Dusk came, all too soon. I watched as Harry locked himself inside his room. I tested the lock, deciding that it would hold up against the worst the werewolf could come up with. Then I walked back to my own room to await the full moon.   
  
I plopped down on my bed, waiting for the moon to appear from behind the clouds. For a moment I wondered about the one man, one werewolf, who had changed my life forever. I didn't blame him, though. I understood the fierce hatred for humans that lay in the wolf's mind. And I also knew the equally fierce hatred of our kind by Muggle and wizard alike. I couldn't blame them either; if I'd been them, I would have been terrified, too. But sometimes, like now, I grew angry at the disillusioned things teachers taught in school about werewolves.   
  
Because most werewolf stories are centered around the poor victims, no one even thinks about the werewolf himself. I don't know about others of my kind, but it has always been my greatest fear to get loose and bite someone. I was so immersed in my brooding thoughts that I actually didn't notice the transformation. It wasn't painful, not with the Wolfsbane Potion, and I honestly hadn't even paid attention. Rolling my eyes at my own thoughtlessness, I leapt lightly off the bed and walked toward Harry's room.   
  
Rearing up on my hind legs, I lightly tapped on the door with my paw. When he didn't respond, I sat down on my haunches and began to bark. Since the typical wolf does not bark, Harry should have known to come out. After a few seconds, he cautiously opened the door and started calling for me. In case you don't know, even with the potion it's impossible for werewolves to talk, so, instead of answering him, I simply walked forward, into his line of sight. He let out a little yelp of fear, and I grinned (that is, if a wolf can grin) as I thought of the picture I must have presented. Much larger and stronger than an ordinary wolf, I was definitely a intimidating presence. Harry seemed reassured by the grin and smiled at me.  
  
"Hi, puppy dog," he said brightly, and I rolled my eyes again at being called 'puppy dog'. He nodded in satisfaction. "Yep, you must have control of that wolf to roll your eyes at me. Hey, do you fetch?" I glared at him, and he winced. "Okay, okay, no fetch. But would you mind if I watched some tv?" I shook my head and trotted after Harry as he headed for the living room.  
  
He flipped through the channels until he came to an old werewolf movie. He looked over at me, wearing the same michevious expression I had seen on Sirius and James so many times. I gave him a look that said plainly, "Dream on." With an apologetic shrug, he continued to flip until he finally settled on one of many late-night shows. After a couple hours I got tired and went to bed, leaving Harry to channel surf by himself.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Hey, you've only got another week before you go back to school," I told Harry, as I opened my newspaper. We'd gotten through the full moon without incident, and I had things under control very well, if you can keep Harry under control, that is. I am of the personal opinion that you can't.   
  
"Hello Remus, hi Harry," Dumbledore called, walking into the kitchen. I had been leaning my chair back, as I was so fond of telling Harry not to do, and as Dumbledore entered the room I was so surprised that I accidentally let the chair tip over, taking me with it. I scrambled to my feet, trying hard not to think about how that had looked. I didn't have to imagine much. Harry was laughing so hard he had to lean against the table to avoid collapsing in the floor, and even Albus was only half succeeding in keeping a straight face.  
  
"Oh, fine, laugh, I don't care," I grumbled. Both Harry and Dumbledore obliged willingly, the elder wizard sinking into a chair to avoid falling over, he was laughing so hard. After a few minutes both had regained their composure, and Albus quickly got down to business.  
  
"How are things?" he asked. I shrugged.  
  
"Fine, I guess. Harry's the one you should be asking, though." He turned his questioning gaze on Harry, who seemed pleased to have a chance to talk.  
  
"I agree with Moony. We're fine."  
  
"That's good. Severus has been whining about how you haven't kept in touch, and I came out here to pacify him." I snorted.  
  
"I wouldn't keep in touch with Snape if my life depended on it. And what I find so amusing is that he plainly hates Harry, and yet when he comes to stay with me, he might as well be his father, the way he acts."   
  
"And he does hate me, he's made that pretty plain," Harry chimed in.  
  
"Yes, he probably does," Dumbledore agreed, unwillingly. "Just for the record, Remus, he acts nothing like James. James would probably be thrilled that Harry's staying with you."   
  
I watched Harry wince at the mention of his father, and I shot Albus a warning look. From long experience I knew that both James and Sirius were sore spots with Harry, and the mere mention of Pettigrew was enough to make him touchy and unpleasant for the rest of the day. I couldn't, and didn't, blame him there. I got downright furious whenever someone said something about how brave Peter had been to try and catch Sirius on his own, for the truth had yet to be revealed.   
  
The truth being that it had been Peter who'd been spying for Voldemort, and Sirius who'd tracked Peter down. But oh no, Fudge wouldn't believe a word of such a tale, and that was the exact reason Sirius was still on the run. As to his father, I understood that as well. Because it had been a full moon that night, and when he needed me I was useless, a werewolf. Yes, that was the reason I had never been able to forgive myself for the deaths of Harry's parents. I knew James wouldn't have blamed me, and gentle Lily never blamed anyone for anything, but that only seemed to make it worse. For a moment, I hated Dumbledore for bringing up a subject Harry and I felt so strongly about. The remorse on Albus's face, however, quickly erased my anger toward him.  
  
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, looking like he'd give anything to take back what he's said. But that is not within even his powers.  
  
"That's okay, Professor," Harry said softly. "I need to stop being so sensitive anyway."   
  
"No, Harry," I said with a forcefulness that surprised me. "You shouldn't feel bad about not wanting to discuss the subject. I hate talking about it too." I glanced over at Dumbledore, and for a moment my gray eyes met his blue ones, and in them was the quiet understanding of why I, too, hadn't forgiven myself for that night.  
  
"Harry, I shouldn't have mentioned your father. I should've known that would be a sore spot with you."  
  
"No, seriously, it's okay. You didn't mean to," Harry answered.  
  
"But I did, and I'm sorry," Albus said earnestly, and I looked over at Harry.  
  
"Tell him you forgive him, or he'll keep that up forever," I informed him.  
  
"Then you're forgiven, you're forgiven!" Harry exclaimed in exasperation. Albus glanced over at me and grinned in triumph, but didn't say anything. I sighed.  
  
"Haven't you caused enough trouble for today?" I inquired of Dumbledore, and he shrugged.  
  
"I guess so. I'll see you in a week, Harry. And when you bring him, you should come too, Remus."  
  
"I will. 'Bye, Albus." And at that he disappeared.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Hi, Minerva," I called to my former transfiguration teacher. She looked surprised to see me, to say the least.  
  
"Remus! What are you doing here?"  
  
"I dunno. Dumbledore wanted to see me."  
  
`"That explains it then. How are you, seriously?"  
  
"Fine," I assured her. She didn't look convinced, but didn't press the subject.  
  
"Well, I've got to go get my students back under control, Remus. Goodbye." I watched as she walked away, then turned back and headed for Dumbledore's office. Luckily for both of us, I didn't run into Snape on the way there. I gave the password to the gargoyle, and started toward the door, but halfway there I heard a sudden, high-pitched scream. I didn't move for a second, but as the scream was repeated, more urgently this time, I made my decision.   
  
I went running toward the sound, and quickly found myself in the Great Hall. The teachers were all frozen, staring at a green-eyed man in the center of the room. I had a very bad feeling about the guy. As I entered the room, Hermione, Ron, and Harry came running over to me. The man turned in our direction, and he promptly disappeared, to where I wasn't sure. What I did know, however, was that he had to have become invisible, because you can't apparate or disapparate inside Hogwarts.   
  
"What's going on?" I demanded. "Who screamed?"  
  
"I did," Hermione admitted sheepishly.  
  
"It was Voldemort," Harry interrupted.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I wish I wasn't, but yes, I'm sure." I frowned. I trusted Harry as much or more than I trusted myself, and when he said he was sure about something, you can bet it was true. But this time, I really wished he was wrong. The problem was, he probably wasn't.  
  
"So now what?" Ron asked, looking at me hopefully. I shrugged.  
  
"I haven't a clue. Hey wait a minute, where's Dumbledore?"  
  
"He's still in his office, of course, waiting for you," Hermione said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Harry and I exchanged horrified looks, then we went running for the headmaster's office.  
  
"Where are you going?" Minerva asked. We skidded to a stop.  
  
"To get Albus before Voldemort. Stay here with the kids, I'll be back."  
  
"While you're up there, look for Severus."  
  
"He's up there too?" Harry asked.  
  
"Looks that way," I answered. "C'mon, let's go." We ran for Dumbledore's office, and halfway up the main stairs, we ran into Snape, of all people.  
  
"What's going on?" he questioned. He was distracted, and was more asking than ordering.  
  
"Voldemort's here. Albus is alone upstairs, he doesn't know, so we're going to get him."  
  
"You're taking Harry with you?"  
  
"Does it look like I have a choice?"  
  
"No, but still...," he grumbled, falling in step beside me. Ignoring his grumbling, Harry continued up the stairs, and I hurried to catch up with him, with Severus trailing behind.   
  
"Go back to help protect the kids," I told him.   
  
"Are you sure you can handle it?"   
  
"Yes. I'm sure. Now go!" Without another word, he started back downstairs, leaving Harry and me to go on alone. Harry paused so suddenly as we started up the second staircase that I almost ran into him.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
"There. In the shadows." He pointed. I narrowed my eyes, trying to see what Harry was talking about. Then I heard an evil-sounding chuckle, and Voldemort stepped toward us.  
  
"Very good, Potter. But this time I will finally get you."  
  
"Not if I have anything to do with it," I snapped, raising my wand. He laughed again.  
  
"Yes, Remus, you might present certain difficulties to me. But why won't you join us?"  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Many say that. But it's foolish to resist, werewolf. Yes, I know what you are," he added. I winced at the thought. When he spoke again, his voice was coaxing.  
  
"If you join us, you won't have to be a werewolf anymore, Remus. We have developed a cure. You'll never have to worry about hurting anyone again." In some dim corner of my mind I realized he was hypnotizing me, or at least trying, but I was unable to resist him.  
  
"Just join us, Remus. That's all you have to do to be human again. That's it." I tried to focus, to pull myself together, but it was too hard. First James, now Harry, I thought. There's nothing I can do to help either one. But the thought of failing James once more was devastating. It hurt, like nothing else could. I couldn't have saved Prongs perhaps, but I could possibly save his son. But was too hard to resist anymore. Voldemort was strong, too strong for me to resist any longer...  
  
"Moony?" Harry asked, uncertain, but I could hear the absolute trust in his voice. That was all it took to break Voldemort's hold on me. I stepped back, away from him, and he glared at me.   
  
"I'll get you one day, werewolf," he hissed, before he turned and walked away. I leaned against the wall, panting. Harry studied me for a moment, then shrugged dismissivly. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs, and Snape walked over to us.  
  
"I thought I told you to go downstairs," I said irritably, not wanting to have to put up with Severus' attitude.  
  
"I heard everything," he mumbled.  
  
"So?"  
  
"So, I heard what he was offering you."  
  
"Get to the point!"  
  
"The point is, maybe I misjudged you. It took a lot to resist him like that." I couldn't believe my ears. Snape was apologizing?!  
  
"Wait a minute, you're apologizing?!"  
  
"Yes. It's not your fault you're a werewolf, I guess. And at a time like this, we can't afford to be squabbling amongst ourselves. We've got to stick together."   
  
"Agreed. Now, let's go get Albus before we get sidetracked again." We headed toward the gargoyles that marked the entrance to Dumbledore's office, only to meet him coming out.  
"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing us.  
  
"How'd you know something was wrong?" I requested. He smiled.  
  
"It's obvious. It would take something awful drastic to make you and Severus cooperate."  
  
"It's Voldemort, he's_" I never got to finish my sentence. In a flash of green light, Voldemort himself appeared, standing in front of us.  
  
"Haven't you learned anything yet?" Severus sneered.   
  
"Apparently not," Lord Voldemort drawled, pointing his wand straight at Harry. He started to say a deadly curse, but he never got to finish. The staircase was right behind him, and I saw my chance. I lunged at him, knocking him off balance. He stumbled backward, automatically grabbing my wrist to try to steady himself. But it was far too late. He fell down the stairs backwards, dragging me with him. I heard Harry scream, but there was little I could do. At least I took him with me, was my last conscious thought before I hit my head and fell into darkness.  
  
* * * *  
  
"Remus," I heard somebody say. "Remus, wake up." Reluctantly, I opened my eyes to see Harry, Dumbledore, Snape, and Sirius standing over me.  
  
"Sirius," I yelped. "Get out of here! What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?"  
  
"Calm down," he ordered, pushing me back on my pillows. "I'm not in trouble."  
  
"How?" I demanded, almost hysterically. Sirius pointed at Snape, who flinched.  
  
"He did it."  
  
"I didn't!" Severus insisted.  
  
"Did," Sirius said.  
  
"Didn't."  
  
"Didn't."  
  
"Did."  
  
"That's what I've been telling you." Snape scowled at Sirius, who grinned triumphantly. "Now tell him what happened before he goes into hysterics."  
  
"Okay, fine, at least I know when I'm whipped. As you'll remember, Lupin, I was watching when you had Peter there. I just couldn't_and wouldn't_believe it. When Sirius showed up, I talked to him, got his version of events, and decided I had to tell them the truth. I did, with Sirius very helpfully glossing it over a bit so I didn't look like such an idiot." Snape frowned, as though the thought of Sirius being helpful was more than he could stand.   
  
"And now I'm a free man," Padfoot finished helpfully.   
  
"This is great," I said happily. "Now Harry won't have to go back to those awful Dursleys, since he'll be staying with you."  
  
"Hey, while we're on the subject, I heard that you turned his uncle Vernon into a toad," Sirius said thoughtfully.  
  
"I did not turn him into a toad." I paused dramatically. "I turned him into a frog." Sirius tried to keep a straight face, but it was a losing fight. In a few minutes all five of us were laughing.   
  
After a moment Harry stopped laughing long enough to remark, "Hey, I win the bet!"  
  
"Bet?"  
  
"Yes, of course. Ron bet me that Professor Snape couldn't laugh if he tried, and I win!"  
  
"Thanks a lot," Severus grumbled.   
  
"Well, you scowl at us so much, it's a matter of great interest to the entire school whether or not you've forgotten how to be cheerful."  
  
"Now you know," Snape remarked, but I could hear the pain in his voice, and I wondered why. Apparently Harry did, too, because he quickly ushered out Dumbledore and Sirius, and then sat down and waited.  
  
"What?" Snape demanded, noticing how intently Harry was gazing at him, but he already knew. "Drat you two. I shouldn't have let it show like that, but I didn't think anyone was paying attention."  
  
"We were," Harry said.  
  
"Yes, and we would like to know what's really up with you," I requested. "But if you don't want to tell us, you don't have to."  
  
"Don't suppose it'll hurt anything," Snape said finally. "And I guess you deserve to know." He settled more comfortably into his chair, then began his explanation. "I was never fond of your father, Potter, and I grew to hate his friends as well, for various reasons. Lupin was one of them. When we left school, nothing changed. James married Lily, and I married Nicole.   
  
"She was a Ravenclaw, and a pureblood, not that it mattered to me. Our son, Michael, was born a few days after you were, Potter. I was a spy for Voldemort, very much the way I am now. Voldemort had decided that I was not as faithful to his cause as I should have been. And he decided to punish me for it. I left for Hogwarts; he saw his chance, and attacked Nicole and Michael. The entire house was destroyed.   
  
"That same night he went after the Potters as well, and as we all know, he met his downfall there. And I was furious. He didn't punish me for what I'd done, no, he went after my family. And what made it worse was that you finished him, Harry. If he'd gone after you first, he wouldn't have been strong enough to go after my family. You, of all the people in the world, finished his reign of terror. You did what I could not. And that's why I despise you, Potter. How can I forgive you if I can't forgive myself?"  
  
There was a shocked silence. "I never knew," I mumbled.   
  
"Because I told Dumbledore I didn't want anybody to know. He didn't tell anybody, and neither did I."  
  
"I_I'm sorry," Harry whispered. He reached forward and laid a gentle hand on Snape's shoulder. To my surprise, he didn't pull away.  
  
"I know how you feel," I said, very softly.  
  
"How could you?"  
  
"Because, if you'll remember, it was a full moon the night Lord Voldemort attacked Lily and James." He looked confused for a moment, then it dawned on him. I clarified anyway.  
  
"James had always been there for me, and when he needed me I was useless, an animal. And I can't forgive myself for not being there."  
  
"If you'd been there, you'd have just died along with them," Severus observed. I shrugged.  
  
"Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe if I'd been there Harry wouldn't have grown up with the Dursleys. Maybe if you'd been there you could've stopped him. But we'll never know, will we?"  
  
"You're right about that," Snape grumbled. "And that's what makes it so hard. You can never know."  
  
"Well, there is something we know for sure," Harry said suddenly.  
  
"Enlighten me."  
  
"I didn't know your family, Professor. But I do know one thing about them for sure. They loved you. And no matter what, they wouldn't have wanted you to die for them." He spoke with the air of experience, and as I considered, I realized he probably did have experience, more so than I would've liked. I glanced over at Snape, and I was shocked by his response. I had long since started considering Severus as being the ultimate master of his emotions, but if my eyes weren't deceiving me, he was crying.   
  
"Severus?" I asked, and he looked up at me. He was crying.  
  
"He's right, you know," he said quietly, and I nodded.  
  
"Yes. He is. Hate to say it, but he always seems to be."  
  
"Not in Potions," Severus snickered, and Harry glared at him. "It's the truth, Potter, you can't be wonderful at everything."  
  
"Maybe not," Harry admitted. "But I'd like to think I am." We laughed, but without the light-heartedness of a few minutes earlier.  
  
"Maybe I have been a bit unfair, though, Potter. Nicole wouldn't have wanted that. Truce?" Snape asked.   
  
"A bit, is it?" I inquired innocently, and he shrugged.  
  
"More than a bit, then. But I was talking to Potter, not you." He turned to Harry and extended a hand. "Deal?"   
  
"Sure." They shook hands, and I nodded in satisfaction. Severus saw the contented look on my face, and his expression plainly said, "Don't push it." So I kept my opinions to myself.   
  
But later that night, when I visited the Potters' graves ( well, they weren't really graves, just memorial stones) in a secluded grove of trees overlooking Hogwarts, Snape was with me. We stood there in silence for a few minutes, and finally he turned and walked away. When he was gone, I addressed the headstones.  
  
"You always said there was some good in everybody, Lily. It just takes something dramatic to bring it out. And James, I can tell you now, for certain, that your son will be fine." From where I stood, I could see Harry standing in the doorway to Hogwarts, talking to Snape.  
  
"How things change," I muttered. But perhaps that's the way it should be. In the beginning of this, I told you that you'd have to decide my fate for yourself. But I can tell you, at the moment, I felt as content and happy as it's possible for me to be. With Snape, Sirius, Dumbledore, and of course me, behind him all the way, Harry was certain to grow up a completely normal, happy kid. And that was all his parents had ever wanted.  
  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Well ya'll, I'm back. As usual, you have to read at least one of my stories, in this case, Moony Forever, to get this one. This is from Snape's point of view, after Moony Forever. Exactly one word describes this one. Short. It kinda sets the scene for the sequel, All They Ever Wanted, which definitely makes up for the shortness of this one. P.S. There may be a few GoF spoilers, I dunno.  
  
  
  
"I just had to open my big mouth," I complained. "Drat Potter, and that werewolf, too." By the way, in case you're scared of my rather vicious temper (most of my students are), I'll tell you a secret: as far as life and death situations go, I'm all bark and no bite. Seriously, the way Neville Longbottom acts, you'd think I went around hexing the students. I don't of course, even though on occasion I'd like to, because I daresay the headmaster wouldn't like it very much. He prides himself on not losing any students. He broke his perfect record due to the Triwizard Tournament, but let's not go into that. That wasn't his fault, anyway. And I'm not grumbling: Albus Dumbledore is probably the best headmaster Hogwarts has ever had. There are a few people who'd give me an argument about it, but let's face it: Albus Dumbledore is one of most compassionate, reasonable people I know, and he's kept this school together through good times and bad. But look at me, getting philosophical. Not a good thing. Downright scary, actually.  
I unlocked the door to my office and stepped inside. I sank into my chair, still grumbling.  
"That was undoubtedly the stupidest thing I've ever done," I berated myself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid. By tomorrow, all the Gryffindors will know my awful life story, and since they couldn't keep their mouths shut if they tried, which they won't, the entire school will know by the end of the week. I might as well just try Hagrid's solution to the problem and lock myself in here until it all dies down." That's when I heard a timid knock on the door.  
"Great," I complained. "It's starting." Without getting out of my chair, I pointed my wand at the door, magically unlocking it. The door flew open and Harry Potter went sprawling on the floor. I leaned over the desk and looked at him, unable to stop a smile from spreading across my face.  
"Somehow, I have the feeling you didn't mean to do that, Potter," I commented. He got up off the floor, scowling at the door, as though it was the cause of all his problems. Then he glanced over at me.  
"You'd be right about that," he said ruefully. "Actually, I'd gotten irritated and kicked the door at about the same time you unlocked it, which is the reason I ended up on the floor."   
"So, have you told all the Gryffindors yet?" I asked, carefully keeping my tone neutral.  
"No," Harry said, looking quite shocked by the very idea.   
"Yeah right," I said coolly. "It's just what you always wanted, isn't it, some nice little bits of gossip about your least favorite teacher." Harry frowned at me, but not as though he was mad at me; it was more like he was wondering how best to handle the situation and couldn't decide.  
"No, that's not why I wanted to know," he said after a minute. "I wanted to know because I was concerned."  
"About me?" I said with a little smirk. "I don't think so."  
"Think what you like, I'm telling the truth."  
"Geez, now I know why you're so good at getting out of trouble. You can lie better than anyone I've ever seen."  
"That's because I'm not lying."   
"Why on earth would you be concerned about me?" I asked skeptically.   
"Why not?"  
"Because we hate each other?" I suggested in a would-be-sensible kind of voice. He merely shrugged.  
"I suppose we do, but still... I mean, if something happened to you, our new Potions teacher might be even worse than you." I rolled my eyes.  
"Thanks a lot, Potter."  
"You're welcome," he said smugly.   
"Oh please. That's all I need. And don't lie; you had to have told at least Weasley and Granger."  
"Never said I didn't. Yes, I told them, but they're on orders not to tell anyone."  
"You believe them?"  
"Of course I believe them, they're my best friends. Plus," he added with a slightly evil grin, "I told them if they told anyone, I'd put the Imperius Curse on them and make them tell all their deepest, darkest secrets to the entire hall." He smiled angelically, and I couldn't help but laugh.  
"So, you can actually do the curse, then?" I asked.  
"Yeah. It wasn't hard, you just have to concentrate."  
"I don't believe it."  
"Want to find out?" he said cheerfully, raising his wand.  
"I'll pass, thanks," I said quickly. "So, since you can use the curse, you can also free yourself from it, can't you?"  
"Well, Professor, I don't think that that's a requirement for doing the spell, but yes, I can. And no, Ron and Hermione can't," he added, correctly interpreting my expression.  
"Good thing. You know, I'd almost want them to tell someone. I'd love to hear what secrets they've been hiding." I grinned at Harry. "Matter of fact, I'd love to hear all your little secrets, Potter."  
"Hey, don't even think about it. Voldemort tried that curse on me once, and even he couldn't keep control over me."  
"Then it looks like I'm out of luck. Darn."  
"Yes it does," Harry said, sounding very pleased with himself. "Now it's time for dinner, so let's go," he ordered, sounding remarkably like Professor McGonagall.  
"I'm not going."  
"Correction: you think you're not going."  
"How do plan to get me in there, if I don't want to go?" I demanded. Harry put his hands on his hips and glared at me.  
"You're going, if I have to knock you out again." I winced. That had been one of the more unpleasant things that had ever happened to me, and it was also incredibly embarrassing. But it had been under a very bizarre set of circumstances, and I wasn't really to blame for that.  
"That was under very strange circumstances. You haven't got any right to tease me about that. I'll put you in detention for a month if you so much as mention that around any Slytherin. It would also have exactly the opposite effect; instead of making me come out, it might just convince me to lock myself in here for pretty close to forever," I added hastily, seeing the look on Harry's face.   
"Then I'll just put you under the Imperius Curse and make you go out there," Harry said stubbornly. I considered this for a moment. I had never been put under that particular curse, and I had no idea whether I could resist it or not. And personally, I really didn't want to find out, especially at the wand of Harry Potter.   
Some of my thoughts must have shown on my face, since Potter remarked smugly, "So, have you been convinced, or shall I try the curse?"  
"I'm convinced, I'm convinced!" I exclaimed, finally conceding defeat. Grumbling, I fell into step beside Harry as he headed for the Great Hall. As we entered the room, there was a sudden hush as everyone stared at us. I glared around at everyone.  
"What?" I barked, and everyone quickly looked away. "What's gotten into these people?" I glanced over at Harry and he promptly dissolved into giggles.   
"Lot of help you are."  
"Sorry," he gasped out between laughs, "but I don't blame them; I mean, it probably does look a little bizarre, since everyone knows we hate each other."  
"Hated," I said firmly. "Past tense."  
"Yeah," he agreed. "Very past tense."  
  



End file.
